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Legs · Sadovsky

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im watching a documentary about strippers to get an idea of the girl that's trying to move in on my heart. that's a real thing.

you seem pretty comfortable talking to me about it. i am pretty unsure about how to respond.

* * *
five hours on the phone with you and i am completely taken
Current Music:
patti page - i dont care if the sun dont shine
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the only time the words will form is if
they're around a woman

or if they're about teeth, and skin. hair and lips.
broken blood vessels. inside out body parts.

circulating the same shit. over and over and over and over and over

wheres the money wheres the money wheres the money. under your fingernails inside your teeth behind your lips
i need new words. even my paintings are starting to look the same because im running out of colors.
i need a new fucking brain.

* * *
You're a sweet girl with a light voice, and I like the way your hair curls up around your collar bone.
I've never seen anyone sleep the way you do, perfectly still on your back like that. Your hands folded over your chest like an angel.
I was ready to call it quits on you. I'm sorry for that. I couldn't see past all the expectations placed on you.
* * *
Your woman telling me she belongs to me while i undo her pants and slide fingers inside her.
god. the things she tells me.
wanting hard to be between my teeth.

stealing the spare key to my apartment she comes back three days later in the middle of the night. lets herself into my bed. scares me because I'm not expecting her.

I'm used to this game now.

She sleeps in your arms wishing you smelled like me or that your words tasted like mine. She wants our battle sex. Dark and secret. She wants to come to me in the night. For me,
over and over.

i feel bad

i don't get out of bed to say goodbye when she leaves at dawn

* * *
* * *
something clicked for me. it really made all those unanswered messages become more loud than your body.

there's something about you that i still want, but not something that i need.

* * *
i still sleep with knives in my bed.

like that time i was 14 and you threatened your thick wrists with the kitchen knife. you were drunk and sitting, cross-legged on the floor.

i remember collecting all of them in a grocery bag. they were shooting out of the thin plastic in every direction.
i put them in the furthest corner of my bed under all of my pillows.
I stayed awake the whole night, staring at my bedroom door.
waiting for you to come looking for the cheap steel i had hidden from you.

you cried for yourself.
i cried for you too.

we never talked about it again.

* * *
the shape of you. at the end of your bed. looking out the window at a day that is hiding just like we are.

come over here.

* * *
my necklace clicking against your teeth. your hair in my face, between our lips. "don't touch it. don't move. don't make a sound" every second is already working towards something else. something enormous. the entire room is shaking. the neighborhood can see us through this window. fuck it.

I'm watching you unfold.

* * *
We're close. did you know?
i can feel you breathe.
i can smell your perfume everywhere i go.

I'm pretty sure this snow is falling for us

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